As usually, coming back from home means, you meet again with everybody. Classmates, classmates that became your friends, classmates that are on train of becoming your friends, all have stories to tell, myself included. Did quite some traveling this summer, and naturally, at my age, I find myself often caught between the desire of doing my job (that is, going to classes, for now) and grabbing a backpack and taking a long leap of absence, for as long as my conscience would allow me to skip what’s due for me now, that is my final exam, my final paper and ultimately that wonderful piece of paper that tells me I am superior to someone who didn’t go to college, but God knows how or when. Reasons to almost freak out.
But going back to stories from our holiday. I am at an age, I find, when slowly everybody settles down with somebody. I don’t mean in a “moving-in-together-soon-getting-married” sort of way, but rather, I find myself looking around me while waiting for a class to begin and I see girls hanging out with boys, then gradually, a girl kisses one of the boys she’s with in the first situation, then boom, guess what? they have been together for four years now and yeah, they are getting married …kind of settling down situation. I have classmates that have been in a relationship with their significant other for more than 3 years, I have classmates that already got married. Yesterday I saw an old room-mate of mine that just got married and is pregnant with her first baby, at 21. You think it’s crazy, but it’s happening. This is the time when you have all the fun in the world on the one hand, but secretly look for someone to settle with, a secret wish, on the other hand.
Don’t get yourself fooled, though, cause it’s not just fun and games. What got me thinking these past few days, apart from my pregnant ex-room mate, is the number or people that actually break up this time of the year. It makes me sad just to think about it. You spend an year seeing people go in relationships on facebook, growing every day and then there’s that message from your friend that says “you know, me and my boyfriend are a done deal”. It’s troubling when you truly care about someone’s well being, even though I am in a relationship, per se.
I often find myself in an awkward position, after yet another friend breaking up with their significant other. Wow, you were so amazing, you seemed to get along just fine, like you had the world at your feet and then baaam, it’s over. She is crying, he is mad somewhere, everything is messy and certain topics become awkward topics, just because in a way, it’s cruel to talk about your personal life with someone who just had theirs shattered to tiny tiny pieces. At least that’s how I see it, some other girls would not stop blabbing about their awesome boyfriend, awesome life, awesome everything. Wanted to punch some of those specimens in the face once or twice in the past, so I know from experience that I don’t want to become that queen bee, but a queen bee that is supportive. How? I haven’t figured it out yet. I would rather be alone after breaking up, rather than have anybody ask me everything to the smallest detail I don’t want to share cause it’s a personal, painful detail. Some like to spill everything to the smallest detail, like it is some sort of retribution for every painful tear that crossed the cheek and every time you waited for that stupid phone to ring, and to be his name on the screen, so you could hear his voice and he would say all those nice things and how truly sorry he is and how he wants you back into his life. But that never happens, cause once the girl is out of a relationship, it’s like you slighted your ex’s ego forever. No way you are going back to what you had ever again. And as soon as you realize what I just said, it’s like taking a really awful tasting pill: it tastes like crap while it’s on your tongue, but after you swallow it, there will soon be no trace of it ever entering your mouth.
Making someone realize that is hard and painful for the person, so most of the time I hide under the “It’s probably none of my business sign” and tackle but the surface of the problem, hoping that they are going to come to my same conclusion on their own, just like I do it. Plus, saying just the right thing is difficult sometimes, cause sometimes there are no friends’ words curing you better than a sad song.
Maybe it’s just me, but if it’s not, then tell me about how you dealt with this idea of your friend’s breakup and how it affected your relationship with her. Maybe you’ll teach me some tips, you never know.