The beauty of doing things for yourself

fashion, design, blue, dress, hair, inspiration, pretty, makeup, cosmetics, pencil, ink, paint,Yesterday I ran into my …I don’t know if it exists in English, but here, we have a teacher whose primary concern is a class that tha teacher or the head-master picks, every four years. If that class gets in trouble, it will be, first of all that teacher’s fault for not telling the class how to behave better. It’s the teacher that yells at the class or at you if you or the entire class did something bad, it is that teacher which delivers those long speeches about what’s good or bad to you and your classmates and the one lectures the class after something goes wrong. Something like a tutor, but most likely a teacher that teaches to that class as well.

Well, I ran into that person yesterday while at the supermarket and I was like “Don’t be rude, say hello” and I did. Turns out her younger daughter knew who I was,although my contact with her was minimal in the past 7 years, but that woman didn’t have the slightest clue about who I was. It’s like I was a complete stranger to, although I went Christmas caroling to her house every year with my class, I was one of the great students in her class and I kind of thought I would be remembered. Guess what, it Continue reading “The beauty of doing things for yourself”

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Quickie

I decided to do a daily post challenge because, I have to be honest, my views are nearly non-existent. I have been looking at other blogs and trying to write something better, something more open for discussions, but then I saw my options are scarce, since I don’t debate but the hot topics I want, I don’t do hair, nails, 10 reasons why…, DYE projects, I don’t have any babies, nor do I have the “photographer” tag in my description. Wish I had, though.

I mostly think I have something to say when I write and most of the people have that, but when I look at other people, I see they have commenters, friends etc. and it reminds me of my older blog, where I met a lot of awesome people. Yeah, but I am not sixteen anymore and I tell myself that I must address myself to an audience that is closer to my age. And then I feel like an elderly person, like what I write is not so digestible like other things I lay eyes on sometimes? Why?

And I am so happy when I press publish, every time thinking that now someone is gonna read that and think that “wow, I see a point there”. Where is everybody, really?

My ten minutes are up. Maybe I got it all wrong, I don’t know…You tell me howcould I get people my age to actually read what I write?

It was about time I…

Today I made some changes to my profile.

First of all, I changed my user name. Completely. Did it from scratch.

Then, to avoid further confusions, I transfered my blog to the said new user name and thus, separated myself from my old blog. I don’t know how many of you actually read me or how many of you accessed my profile when I commented on your posts, but I think it is overwhelming to read a comment someone wrote in English, and then click on their blog and see it’s written in some other, exotic language. Made me feel like I was a sort of Continue reading “It was about time I…”

I write to express, not to impress

This can be a pretty tricky line, isn’t it?

My blog has been kind of lonely this past few days and I could see that is was looking at me with big virtual sad eyes, so I decided to take up another Daily Post challenge and put it into words. This question in particular is a question I’ve come across many times, since there are people who wonder why you would get a blog and what is it useful for. Especially those who have no other connection with the virtual world but via facebook, where they feed their cows and like the photos of the persons they secretly dislike, apart from the casual cats.

I have said my title is a tricky line for two reasons. In a way, when we first put a bunch of words on paper and we hand it to the world, we in a way express things. That’s what it is all about. Does nobody remember how we would always write compositions for school and every time the teacher would take the papers of the entire class, we would anxiously wait to see whether we did hit the right points to get the right grade, whether we wrote something comprehensible or we were just rambling on a page or two and most importantly, how we would hope it would be our particular piece of writing that would catch the attention of the teacher? We must certainly know the bitter feeling that felt similar to  rejection when we saw our precious creations thrown in a sea of non-sparkly writing and worn off ideas.

So there’s a lie there. So what? Nothing changes in fact. Even if we are not the chosen ones, even if we don’t always have the right words, we keep writing in search of our creative Holy Grail. So we blog. Behind a URL address and some name we choose at the whim of the moment we still express. Maybe we are sad, maybe we are happy, maybe we are weak, maybe we are bold…we want the world to know what we have a voice, and regardless of the feedback, we want to make our voice heard, we want to put it out there. Oh, but wait a second. How can we be heard if nobody hears us?

You see, it is hypocritical in a way to say that  when we blog,  we write for ourselves, because as soon as our blog dies, we suddenly feel the urge to write something else, to write something better, something to please . We crave, just like a child awaits for the feedback on a paper, for the attention of the person who’s reading our lines, the sentence of our judge. We are in a way on a scene, in front of an audience who can throw at us either roses or tomatoes, according to their own personal preference or mood swing. So in a way we need the surprising effect, not just the “I blog about myself” factor.

Well, I do blog about myself and about my life, but you have a life too, so what would make your writing have a better substance than mine? The way I present it.  And probably that’s what balances the express and impress factor of this entire article. It’s not about writing about what people like, because if we were all to write about what people liked, we would be all very likely to  write about the same thing, using just different words over and over again, until  “the audience”  would be bored and would dislike the things we were so convinced they liked. It’s a gamble . People don’t look to be pleased, they look to be pleased, if possible, with a spark. It’s the spark they chase. They look for something to relate to, even if that thing is not such a pleasant thing to read and to acknowledge. That’s what writing generally does: it makes you think, it makes you reflect upon yourself, upon your own life, upon your own experience and path. You get them thinking, you have a change they would remember you. We all see things differently and that’s why that uniqueness of our being should be blended in our words. It’s like cooking with your soul, you must put some of you inside your article, to make it have its own distinctive flavor.  So no matter what my readers might like at the moment, this is what I write about and how I write it . I am not a crowd-pleaser, I am a human being. I am who I am and it wouldn’t be fair to make everything pinky perfect just because that’s what some would want to read. Life is not always pink, but that’s what makes it beautiful and in a way, that goes with writing too.  I’m in this to express my imperfection as it is, not as you want to see it…that is, nonexistent. It’s not a game I want to practice.

So no, I wouldn’t trade that for all the views in the world. It would be boring and narrow and I would rather have a bunch of readers with opinions than a crowd of readers of the “Ha ha, funny! now go make me a sandwich!” kind . I would express better, had I known it is my true self in my writing, not a fraud.

What about my blog?

Some of you might wonder why I, a Romanian citizen with a blog that already had followers , just slightly less comments, decided to initiate this other blog here, in English, to write about her young adult life. Basically, to start over.

Well…there were many reasons. The first one would be the anger I felt after writing the post before this one, a post that I find very special and that I wished it were exposed to a different type of audience, just because those are not some other words I write in my lunch break or something, but words with deeper meaning. At first I thought this was about me writing in English, but you would be surprised to know that Romanians (or at least the Romanians that followed me) did know English quite well. Yet…no comment. Neither did the WordPress staff pay any attention to what I wrote, the main reason for that being the fact that my previous URL was in Romanian. So what?! It doesn’t mean that if I have a Romanian URL, my English  can’t be flawless in this piece of writing I wanted to show to the world.

Another reason why this baby was created was my wish to explore beyond the hedge. To clarify the hedge situation, I think that the community in every country is a rather closed one which is differentiated from another by language or certain mentalities. Once upon a time, I used to be happy with my Romanian blog, which had readers, readers with opinions based on hard facts or maybe heart-felt experience. I enjoy both. But now, now our Romanian girls have picked up a ledge and have gone up that ledge to look behind the edge and there they saw a sort of wonderland…of clothes. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against clothes or fashion blogs that have style and sometimes have better content than a bunch of glossy magazines put together. They have their purpose, and sometimes from this sort of blogs that also have a DIY section, you learn how to do pretty cool stuff for yourself. Still, together with handmade blogs,  they are not in my top favorites, they are more like blogs I sink in when I’m in the mood of sinking into images of clothes I know for sure I can’t afford.  Going back to the girls here, some of them saw that wonderland and how a well made wonderland can get you internships at Vogue or Vanity fair, so they started creating blogs like that here, although I’m not sure which of them got their phone call from their favorite glossy magazine just yet. And I am left with either that, or blogs that write fiction without me realizing it. Those kind of blogs where the owners write sequels after sequels and steamy chapters and long frustrated lines involving characters who either have too much sex or just seem way too vampirishly surreal. Does nobody write on paper  and hide their manuscripts in a drawer anymore?! That would have been so much fun. Fine, you can do that, but you either write that or you either write about yourself. Poor innocent readers like me might get confused and might follow you, and then get infected with sobby fiction they don’t really want in their reader. No pun intended !

I should also refer to those really followed blogs written by adults that write about boring stuff like politics or babies. I don’t intend to have a baby at 20 , I don’t want to get pregnant, I’m surely not pregnant now, so pleeaaaaase give me a break?! Pretty please? ;;) Is nobody writing about their life anymore…like their life before having…babies, maybe!? Is the blogosphere so populated by either 14 -year olds who write about how life is not worth living and or by 35 year olds who can’t stop writing about babies, babies, babies?!  Or is it just me that reads the wrong people? Now I’m concerned.

That’s why I want to explore beyond the hedge in hope that there somewhere is that army of people who write stuff just like I do and who want something more out of their blog something beyond just pictures and babies and bad poetry or sobby fiction. Or just cats, in general. If those girls found wonderland, I’m willing to search for it too so watch out for me, cause I’m on my way to find my own personal pot of gold.  If I’ll find it, you’ll know about it if you care to join me. Now I’m out…I got to go take care of some real life situations. Kisses! :*