Stieg Larsson’s Millenium trilogy and why I have doubts about reading other Nordic authors

This is meant to be the review of “The girl who kicked the hornets’ nest”, but I feel that I’m going to touch on all three novels of the series in one way or another, because some aspects are valid for all of them. Plus, I did no review of the other two books, so this review would not make sense as a stand-alone thing.

I have mentioned it on Instagram previously, but these novels have rocked my psychological thriller world. I  was first introduced to the Girl with the Dragon tattoo. I was intrigued by the movie that features Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara and by its overall dark undertones. Just look at it, it has such a grey, atmospheric trailer. Same goes for the earlier Swedish movies based on the series, which in a way are better made than the Hollywood counterpart. But this article is gonna be long, I’m not gonna go into details.

At that point, I did not know what grey murder mysteries Continue reading “Stieg Larsson’s Millenium trilogy and why I have doubts about reading other Nordic authors”

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Feel the rollercoaster, be the rollercoaster

And not the cool Six Flag kind.

The ugly emotional kind, that gets an ugly face when crying and makes everybody uncomfortable.

Quite frankly, I tried hiding it, I tried faking until I was making it, I tried crying when nobody saw me, so I wouldn’t cry when everyone saw me. I tried controling myself, my moods, my wishes. But my psyche said : oh no, young lady.

And in a Game of Throney way: what do we say to over-control? Not today.

It’s been a month of not todays which landed me, after my first two weeks of realising I couldn’t do it myself, on the chair of a psychologist. We don’t go to psychologists here. I’ve grown all my life thinking those were for crazy people. And there I was, crazy. Or at least, afraid of not losing it and sick of all the voices in my head pestering me. Mentally toasted, numb, sick but not actually sick, you name it.

Most of all, I was not at ease with myself and couldn’t find my peace of mind now even when I slept.

You’re not good enough, look at you, you’re such a piece of shit. Oh, look, you did it again, a mistake, see, there? Idiot, stupid idiot. 

At a certain point, through all this commotion, my brain said enough is enough and then I started feeling numb. Or at least, a bit more quiet. I am always in a rush for things I don’t know I want yet. Always in a hurry, when I speak, when I work, when I try to relax. Always running.

And running makes you tired. Observing your own emotions makes you realise just how shifty you are. Here you are, up, you feel ok, everything is looking bright and sunny, from the outside. I get into the booth (i’m an interpreting trainee) and I get attacked by all the things I hate at myself. How to focus on translating, when my mind seems well engaged in beating myself down everytime I say the wrong thing? How can I calm down when the quick instinct is to be on a constant watch for a threat that never really comes? I often went at home feeling like a piece of shit.

I had an optional assignment over the holidays and when i did just a basic, routine thing, to not end up in a rut this January, I went directly into a panic attack and started crying. Consequently, it will not seem like a big surprise to hear that I haven’t touched that assignment ever since. I feel guilty, but I’d rather not go through panick attacks two and three.

I wish  to give myself some peace and quiet these following weeks, which will hardly be possible since I’m having exams coming up. Sometimes getting stuff done makes me feel calm. The trick with interpreting is you can’t really measure accurately, the amount of work and how much it really…works.

I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom, but at the same time, I feel I’m going up a mm with every passing day. I’m curious how this is going to play out and at the same time, really, really scared.

 

Today I love: Mindy Kaling – Is everyone hanging out without me? (and other concerns)

Hello, lovely people,

Today I just finished Mindy Kaling’s first book Is everyone hanging out without me? (and other concerns) and I wanted to share my opinions with you ASAP.

I really enjoyed it. From the very first pages, it had a homey feeling, as if I could almost perceive her from a distance, mindlessly typing on her laptop the very first draft of what I was reading, absorbed by her thoughts and memories. It felt much like how I feel when I write. It was as if I could perceive her emotions, her irony, her great sense of humor and a gift of making fun of her own dramas, without sounding desperate. I could feel the human side behind this autobiography, and it was as if I was friends with her, and she was telling this story to me, while we were in New York drinking a casual cup of coffee.

This books spans from early childhood up to adulthood and while I was Continue reading “Today I love: Mindy Kaling – Is everyone hanging out without me? (and other concerns)”

I love me

I just downloaded Meghan Trainor’s album Thank you and I need to tell you that it has been the only item on my playlist for the last couple of days. I even wanted to make a review for it, but quite honestly, I cannot find my words yet. I was particularly intrigued by one song, which is called, just like my title I love me.

Apart from being extremely upbeat and with a really happy vibe to it, I also found it strange. It is a rather sensitive topic to touch, that of loving yourself. I mean, it usually is against the rules to actually love yourself. People believe when they look at someone that they must love themselves, I mean, you live with yourself all your life, who can love you better than you love yourself? If it were so Continue reading “I love me”

Today I like: Jojo Moyes – Me before you

I have avoided romantic books for more than two years now, but inevitably, they make their way into my reading list. I did not know anything about this book, until I saw the movie trailer, and I can admit that’s what got me intrigued.

I appreciate movies that send the warm homey vibe, without being too suffocatingly cute and cliché. Plus, it has Sam Claflin in it, and it’s…Sam Claflin, you know. He already melted my heart in Love, Rosie, I knew I was in for a treat. He’s such a great actor. Plus, if you give me a romantic comedy that is gonna make me miss my long-distance boyfriend, you might as well give me eye candy. When I saw the second trailer, which came out not so long ago, I was already hyperventilating. I needed to occupy my mind with something until the movie would come out.

I can already grant the producers of the movie this: they preserved the homey feeling of the book, which is no small feat. As the author of the book said, we deal with a love story (between Louisa Clark and Will Traynor). The thing that separates this from any other cliché love story is the fact that he is Continue reading “Today I like: Jojo Moyes – Me before you”

Unicorn in progress

I haven’t written in…literally, it’s been ages!!

Quite frankly, I sometimes get tingly fingers unexpectedly and a thought pops into my mind “You need to write, go, go,go.” On many occasions, such as this one, I don’t really have something in mind. Either way, topic or no topic, when my brain prompts me to write, I need to write, otherwise I’ll be forever tingly during the day.

I haven’t written in ages and long story short, I’ve started my masters in conference interpreting, which sounds very fancy and smart. Which it is, fancy and smart. For me, it hasn’t been a smooth transition, as I had hoped it would be, but damn, now I’m ok.

Basically, when I signed up for Continue reading “Unicorn in progress”

Lifestyle of the young and restless

These past few months I had a pretty busy schedule and I had some moments in which I truly believed I could not pull through. I graduated this year, and I don’t know about  you, but I had to write a bachelor thesis in English and take ten exams and then spend some extra two weeks studying for a final exam and preparing for the defense of the before said thesis. In a few words, I had a month and a half of turmoil, both professional and internal, because I had many things to do, and yet, as it always happens, a drive to do anything else but that. And when I couldn’t do that, there were tears, and desperation and that feeling that I was going to die young.

Of course, all’s well when it ends well and it did end, right on schedule. I am the happy possessor of a bachelor thesis in Shakespeare’s Macbeth , of a great final grade and of a beautiful Continue reading “Lifestyle of the young and restless”